Daughters Day
Apr. 19th, 2007 12:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dedalus_1947On April 26, 2007, various cities and towns in the United States will commemorate “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” (TYDTWD). This program, sponsored by the Ms. Foundation for Women, officially, purports to “provide girls with first hand experiences to become more aware of the skills, knowledge and educational requirements that are demanded in the workplace and to explore 21st century career opportunities and occupations”. However, from my perspective, this day, started in the early 1990’s, is a feminist movement meant to expose and influence girls in following the career steps of their fathers. If you think about it, this is an incredibly ingenious concept that serves double duty. Although apparently aimed at girls between the ages of eight through 16 years, the program covertly awakens in Dads, the latent belief that their daughters have unlimited potential, and can achieve any career choice they pursue. Therefore, one might look at “TYDTWD” as an insidious, feminist plot, if it did not happen to involve your own daughter. As it is, what father does not believe that their daughter is capable of achieving anything they choose? We fathers just never had a vehicle in which to channel that belief towards any particular career. Telling your daughter what to do is rarely effective. However, spending professional time with your daughter, and sharing private aspects of your job and career with them is a treat they will remember and treasure all their lives. This is what makes “TYDTWD” such an inspiration.
I was in my first year as principal of Fire Mountain Middle School in East Los Angeles, when I first read the District memo on “TYDTWD”. I loved the idea of bringing Prisa to work with me, and spending the day sharing my job, interactions, and activities with her. It would not be day care. I would not be leaving her in someone else’s charge. She would spend the day with me, in my office, in classrooms, at meetings, at lunch, and visiting other schools. She would be my interactive shadow for the day. I loved it. I loved that Prisa would see where, and with whom, I worked, and I was sure she would love it too. Prisa was 12 years old and in the 7th grade at the time, and it would be a day away from her school and school work. I will also confess that at that time in my career, I was quite proud of finally being a principal. I was very enthusiastic about my job, and what I did. It was a new role, and all of my actions, activities and interactions were fresh and new. Even Prisa admitted that it was “cool” being a principal.
I don’t recall many details of that first “TYDTWD”. I remember having a full staff meeting with Prisa present, during which she interacted with my youngest coordinator (who she later described as “cool”). We visited classrooms and a nearby elementary school (whose principal also had his daughter with him), and we took a long lunch away from school. I made the experience enjoyable for me, and active for her. When the day was over, I was also able to ask her opinion and impressions of all the people she met and the activities she witnessed. She now shared an insight into my professional life as a principal- something that my wife and son could only imagine from my descriptions.
Looking back, I realize now that I took personal advantage of “TYDTWD”. It was my Daughters Day. I used that day as an excuse to spend time with Prisa during our respective “work” days. Prisa was excused from school to spend time with me at work, and I re-structured my time to maximize opportunities that would be enjoyable for both of us. My goal was never to influence her career path toward education. In fact, I never imagined that she’d ultimately end up a high school teacher. My aim was to be with my daughter at a time when she would still enjoy it. Our “TYDTWD” tradition only lasted two years, and did not survive into high school. Prisa outgrew the age range, and the novelty of spending a day at my school wore off quickly. Soon, other activities filled Prisa’s life in high school and college, and I tried to fit into them.
So, as “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” swiftly approaches, I’d like to make a suggestion to all fathers during the month of April: Fathers, use this month to “be good to your daughters”. What do I mean by “good”? Do I mean buying them things, or taking them to work with you? No, but I am talking about the gift of Time; time’s the thing. Time is the investment that will pay endless dividends with girls, and women. Prisa no longer qualifies for TYDTWD. In fact, I’m sure that many fathers have daughters outside the correct age group (8 through 16) for TYDTWD. Therefore, instead of TYDTWD, I’m proposing a generic Daughters Day to all fathers (in the same vein as Mothers Day and Fathers Day) to be celebrated in April. A day devoted to an activity or event a father and daughter can enjoy together.
Some may ask, what about sons, don’t they deserve a day? I think the best answer can be found in John Mayer’s song, Daughters:
“Boys, you can break
You’ll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman’s good, good heart”.
I think boys will survive without a “Sons Day”, but girls deserve one. Therefore, I will again quote John Mayer and urge that:
“Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too”.
That is my modest proposal as TYDTWD approaches. There are still many available days in April, and there is no time like Spring for a Father and Daughter occasion. However, if you need further motivation, I recommend going to a lyrics website to read (or hear) the song Daughters (Prisa gave them to me on Fathers Day).
If that song doesn’t grab you by the heart, bring tears to your eyes, and get you moving to spend a day with your daughter(s), you are not a Dad I can respect.
Daughters
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
She's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me
Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made
Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman's good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
I was in my first year as principal of Fire Mountain Middle School in East Los Angeles, when I first read the District memo on “TYDTWD”. I loved the idea of bringing Prisa to work with me, and spending the day sharing my job, interactions, and activities with her. It would not be day care. I would not be leaving her in someone else’s charge. She would spend the day with me, in my office, in classrooms, at meetings, at lunch, and visiting other schools. She would be my interactive shadow for the day. I loved it. I loved that Prisa would see where, and with whom, I worked, and I was sure she would love it too. Prisa was 12 years old and in the 7th grade at the time, and it would be a day away from her school and school work. I will also confess that at that time in my career, I was quite proud of finally being a principal. I was very enthusiastic about my job, and what I did. It was a new role, and all of my actions, activities and interactions were fresh and new. Even Prisa admitted that it was “cool” being a principal.
I don’t recall many details of that first “TYDTWD”. I remember having a full staff meeting with Prisa present, during which she interacted with my youngest coordinator (who she later described as “cool”). We visited classrooms and a nearby elementary school (whose principal also had his daughter with him), and we took a long lunch away from school. I made the experience enjoyable for me, and active for her. When the day was over, I was also able to ask her opinion and impressions of all the people she met and the activities she witnessed. She now shared an insight into my professional life as a principal- something that my wife and son could only imagine from my descriptions.
Looking back, I realize now that I took personal advantage of “TYDTWD”. It was my Daughters Day. I used that day as an excuse to spend time with Prisa during our respective “work” days. Prisa was excused from school to spend time with me at work, and I re-structured my time to maximize opportunities that would be enjoyable for both of us. My goal was never to influence her career path toward education. In fact, I never imagined that she’d ultimately end up a high school teacher. My aim was to be with my daughter at a time when she would still enjoy it. Our “TYDTWD” tradition only lasted two years, and did not survive into high school. Prisa outgrew the age range, and the novelty of spending a day at my school wore off quickly. Soon, other activities filled Prisa’s life in high school and college, and I tried to fit into them.
So, as “Take Your Daughter to Work Day” swiftly approaches, I’d like to make a suggestion to all fathers during the month of April: Fathers, use this month to “be good to your daughters”. What do I mean by “good”? Do I mean buying them things, or taking them to work with you? No, but I am talking about the gift of Time; time’s the thing. Time is the investment that will pay endless dividends with girls, and women. Prisa no longer qualifies for TYDTWD. In fact, I’m sure that many fathers have daughters outside the correct age group (8 through 16) for TYDTWD. Therefore, instead of TYDTWD, I’m proposing a generic Daughters Day to all fathers (in the same vein as Mothers Day and Fathers Day) to be celebrated in April. A day devoted to an activity or event a father and daughter can enjoy together.
Some may ask, what about sons, don’t they deserve a day? I think the best answer can be found in John Mayer’s song, Daughters:
“Boys, you can break
You’ll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman’s good, good heart”.
I think boys will survive without a “Sons Day”, but girls deserve one. Therefore, I will again quote John Mayer and urge that:
“Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too”.
That is my modest proposal as TYDTWD approaches. There are still many available days in April, and there is no time like Spring for a Father and Daughter occasion. However, if you need further motivation, I recommend going to a lyrics website to read (or hear) the song Daughters (Prisa gave them to me on Fathers Day).
If that song doesn’t grab you by the heart, bring tears to your eyes, and get you moving to spend a day with your daughter(s), you are not a Dad I can respect.
Daughters
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
She's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me
Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made
Fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too
Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman's good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So fathers be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
