Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
Dec. 5th, 2006 09:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dedalus_1947This year, Thanksgiving was radically different. It deviated from our traditional Thanksgiving rhythm of alternating, family dining, because it followed so close on the heels of Mary’s death and Kathy’s ear surgery, and because it featured a game of Catholic Jeopardy, with a Jewish participant.
Coming from two large, Catholic, families, with strong holiday traditions, Thanksgiving had always presented a problem to Kathy and me. Since our early dating years, we were faced with the dilemma, with which family should we spend Thanksgiving? Always the compromisers, we decided to alternate the holiday. Greaney Thanksgiving, on odd years, at the home of Mary and Doctor Greaney, or one of their children, and Delgado Thanksgiving, on even years, at the home of Guera Delgado, or one of her children. It was Kathy, with her self-deprecating humor, who developed the mnemonic prompt to remind us of the correct sequence of alternating years: “Greaney’s are odd, Delgado’s are even” (I was never quite sure how Delgado’s were even: even tempered? Even minded? Or even odder?). Over time, and with the increase of family members, we began hosting the Delgado Thanksgiving at our home, because it could accommodate a large gathering better than anyone else could. We had been following this schedule for six years, until now.
In this even year of 2006, two things happened to upset this Thanksgiving rhythm. On October 2, we scheduled a critical ear surgery for Kathy on the first available date, which was the Monday of Thanksgiving week, and Kathy’s mother, Mary, died on October 30, a month before Thanksgiving. The surgery, and its required post-surgical care and recovery, were the primary reasons for canceling the Thanksgiving tradition, but grief over Mary’s death was an unspoken, supporting fact.
I’m still not sure what family ramifications were set in motion when I told my mother that we could not host the Delgado’s for Thanksgiving this year. There was a long pause on the phone, some stumbling speech, and then much concern over Kathy’s impending surgery. Later, I heard that there was a high level of uncertainty among the Delgado siblings over who could, and who wanted to, host dinner on Thanksgiving. At one time, I still honestly believed that we could attend someone else’s Thanksgiving dinner. That assumption evaporated when Prisa voiced her opposition to any idea that would leave her Mom at home during her recuperation. Prisa’s view clarified the issue for all of us, and there developed an overwhelming consensus that, for the first time ever, we would have our own family dinner at Thanksgiving.
I think our first Thanksgiving dinner went well. We had never cooked a turkey ourselves, so Prisa and her roommate Stacy came early to help prepare the dinner we had ordered from Gelson’s market. The evening had the feel of a “regular” family dinner, except for one guest Tonito had invited. His name was Jonathan, and he would be the only stranger in the group for the evening. The only tension I felt was self-imposed: I wanted Jonathan to feel welcomed and accepted in our home, and I wanted to make a positive impression on him. This job is usually allocated to Kathy, who has the wit, confidence, and personality to charm guests and make them feel comfortable. On Thursday, however, Kathy was engaged with Stacy and Prisa in preparing the Thanksgiving meal, and having “kitchen talk” about what was going on in their lives. Therefore, I was left to my own devices to entertain our guest, along with Tonito.
As the evening progressed, we all soon relaxed and stopped being self-conscious about ourselves. The novel item for discussion that evening was the Classroom Jeopardy Game that Kathy had brought from school. Of special interest was the “Catholic Jeopardy” component, which Kathy had ordered. While explaining the variety of ways in which Kathy and Tonito planned to utilize this game, I discovered that Jonathan was Jewish. He was, in fact, the only non-Catholic in a group of 6 people (seven after dinner, when Mary K, Kathy’s friend dropped by for dessert) who were fascinated with this game and insisted on playing it. This could have been isolating for Jonathon, if not handled properly. Here is where Kathy’s charm and humor paid off. She went straight to the heart of the momentary awkwardness and made jokes about it. Any potential tension was dispelled and Jonathan was encouraged to be part of a family game. I was also confident that Jonathan would be naturally inclined to play along with any type of game. He and Tonito are committed “gamers”. They are puzzle and game fanatics, who participate in puzzle conventions, games, and “hunts” throughout the state and country. In fact, this common interest introduced them to each other and encouraged the friendship.
So, after our delicious turkey dinner, with Gewurztraminer wine, the highlight of Thanksgiving was a rousing team game of Catholic Jeopardy, with EVERYONE involved. It was pretty funny, and ironic. Prisa, a Catholic high school English teacher, Stacy, a Catholic elementary Religion teacher, Kathy, a Catholic elementary principal, and Jonathan, who was paired with Mary, a Catholic high school Religion teacher, played a round of single and Double Jeopardy on categories ranging from “Name That Sin” to “Say Your Prayers”. Ultimately, Stacy won the game. The irony was that Jonathon got the Final Jeopardy question correct, and most of the others did not. This only goes to show that knowledge of the Old Testament (Torah) is the below-the-surface part of the Iceberg called Catholicism.
Looking back, it was an unusual, but enjoyable Thanksgiving. The distraction of having our own dinner and playing Catholic Jeopardy took our minds off Mary’s death and Kathy’s recuperation. We were thankful for being healthy, alive, and together with friends and family whom we love. It was an upbeat evening with an afterglow that lasted many days later.
Coming from two large, Catholic, families, with strong holiday traditions, Thanksgiving had always presented a problem to Kathy and me. Since our early dating years, we were faced with the dilemma, with which family should we spend Thanksgiving? Always the compromisers, we decided to alternate the holiday. Greaney Thanksgiving, on odd years, at the home of Mary and Doctor Greaney, or one of their children, and Delgado Thanksgiving, on even years, at the home of Guera Delgado, or one of her children. It was Kathy, with her self-deprecating humor, who developed the mnemonic prompt to remind us of the correct sequence of alternating years: “Greaney’s are odd, Delgado’s are even” (I was never quite sure how Delgado’s were even: even tempered? Even minded? Or even odder?). Over time, and with the increase of family members, we began hosting the Delgado Thanksgiving at our home, because it could accommodate a large gathering better than anyone else could. We had been following this schedule for six years, until now.
In this even year of 2006, two things happened to upset this Thanksgiving rhythm. On October 2, we scheduled a critical ear surgery for Kathy on the first available date, which was the Monday of Thanksgiving week, and Kathy’s mother, Mary, died on October 30, a month before Thanksgiving. The surgery, and its required post-surgical care and recovery, were the primary reasons for canceling the Thanksgiving tradition, but grief over Mary’s death was an unspoken, supporting fact.
I’m still not sure what family ramifications were set in motion when I told my mother that we could not host the Delgado’s for Thanksgiving this year. There was a long pause on the phone, some stumbling speech, and then much concern over Kathy’s impending surgery. Later, I heard that there was a high level of uncertainty among the Delgado siblings over who could, and who wanted to, host dinner on Thanksgiving. At one time, I still honestly believed that we could attend someone else’s Thanksgiving dinner. That assumption evaporated when Prisa voiced her opposition to any idea that would leave her Mom at home during her recuperation. Prisa’s view clarified the issue for all of us, and there developed an overwhelming consensus that, for the first time ever, we would have our own family dinner at Thanksgiving.
Kathy’s surgery on Monday was successful, and by Thursday, she was feeling more and more healthy and confident. Although the hearing in her left ear would be very poor until the reconstructive surgery in August, Kathy was up and about.
I think our first Thanksgiving dinner went well. We had never cooked a turkey ourselves, so Prisa and her roommate Stacy came early to help prepare the dinner we had ordered from Gelson’s market. The evening had the feel of a “regular” family dinner, except for one guest Tonito had invited. His name was Jonathan, and he would be the only stranger in the group for the evening. The only tension I felt was self-imposed: I wanted Jonathan to feel welcomed and accepted in our home, and I wanted to make a positive impression on him. This job is usually allocated to Kathy, who has the wit, confidence, and personality to charm guests and make them feel comfortable. On Thursday, however, Kathy was engaged with Stacy and Prisa in preparing the Thanksgiving meal, and having “kitchen talk” about what was going on in their lives. Therefore, I was left to my own devices to entertain our guest, along with Tonito.
As the evening progressed, we all soon relaxed and stopped being self-conscious about ourselves. The novel item for discussion that evening was the Classroom Jeopardy Game that Kathy had brought from school. Of special interest was the “Catholic Jeopardy” component, which Kathy had ordered. While explaining the variety of ways in which Kathy and Tonito planned to utilize this game, I discovered that Jonathan was Jewish. He was, in fact, the only non-Catholic in a group of 6 people (seven after dinner, when Mary K, Kathy’s friend dropped by for dessert) who were fascinated with this game and insisted on playing it. This could have been isolating for Jonathon, if not handled properly. Here is where Kathy’s charm and humor paid off. She went straight to the heart of the momentary awkwardness and made jokes about it. Any potential tension was dispelled and Jonathan was encouraged to be part of a family game. I was also confident that Jonathan would be naturally inclined to play along with any type of game. He and Tonito are committed “gamers”. They are puzzle and game fanatics, who participate in puzzle conventions, games, and “hunts” throughout the state and country. In fact, this common interest introduced them to each other and encouraged the friendship.
So, after our delicious turkey dinner, with Gewurztraminer wine, the highlight of Thanksgiving was a rousing team game of Catholic Jeopardy, with EVERYONE involved. It was pretty funny, and ironic. Prisa, a Catholic high school English teacher, Stacy, a Catholic elementary Religion teacher, Kathy, a Catholic elementary principal, and Jonathan, who was paired with Mary, a Catholic high school Religion teacher, played a round of single and Double Jeopardy on categories ranging from “Name That Sin” to “Say Your Prayers”. Ultimately, Stacy won the game. The irony was that Jonathon got the Final Jeopardy question correct, and most of the others did not. This only goes to show that knowledge of the Old Testament (Torah) is the below-the-surface part of the Iceberg called Catholicism.
Looking back, it was an unusual, but enjoyable Thanksgiving. The distraction of having our own dinner and playing Catholic Jeopardy took our minds off Mary’s death and Kathy’s recuperation. We were thankful for being healthy, alive, and together with friends and family whom we love. It was an upbeat evening with an afterglow that lasted many days later.
