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Me and My Sister
Mar. 18th, 2020 02:52 pmSisters, sisters,
There were never such devoted sisters.
Never had to have a chaperone, no sir.
I’m here to keep my eye on her.
Caring, sharing
Every little thing that we are wearing…
All kinds of weather, we stick together,
The same in the rain and sun.
Two different faces, but in tight places
We think and act as one.
Those who’ve seen us
Know that not a thing can come between us.
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can.
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister.
(Sisters: Irving Berlin – 1954)
Recently Kathy and I hosted our two granddaughters, Sarah and Gracie, for an overnight sleepover – giving their parents, Prisa and Joe, some quality private time and a sleep-in morning. These sleepovers are always interesting for us because they give us the opportunity to observe these two youngsters at their current levels of maturity. They also give us the chance to interact with them: learning and playing their new board games, listening to their stories of school, and taking long walks with them to the neighborhood 7-11 Store for slurpees. What especially delights me is watching their joyful interactions and realizing that they are sisters – the most intimate of companions for years to come until they are bonded in a lifelong union of love and common history. And yet they remain very distinct girls, at very different levels of physical development and emotional maturity. This fact was clearly demonstrated when we saw them playing basketball in February and March…
I had just re-situated myself into a new seat along the sideline of the basketball court when I noticed that Sarah, the tall, blonde-haired point guard of her third-grade team was slowly and casually dribbling the ball up-court with her left hand. As an opposing defender approached her from that side, she quickly shifted the ball to the other hand and began driving to the right corner. I barely had time to react and position my camera to shoot as she sped along my side of the court. “Click-click-click-click” went the shutter as she blurred past me, putting out her left arm to fend off the opposing player. She reached the corner of the court and head-faked a halt to freeze the defender before suddenly stopping and hefting a shot at the basket. It struck the opposite side of the hoop and the slowly rimmed out. More than feeling the disappointment of her miss, I prayed that I had managed to capture her impressive drive and shot on camera. I couldn’t stop feeling amazed at the progress of her basketball skills since the last time we’d seen her play.
Sarah’s game was the second in a double-header we watched that weekend. Kathy and I had seen her 5-year old sister, Gracie, play in her Torrance playground league the day before. We did this over two months – each time spending the night between games at a nearby hotel to avoid the long car rides back and forth from the west San Fernando Valley to catch two games on consecutive mornings. This last double-header was in February, so a month had passed since we’d seen the girls play – and their progress was stunning.
Sarah is 9-years old and Gracie is 5, and they play the game at very differing levels of ability. Sarah has played organized basketball for three years now and Gracie is just beginning, so there is a wide disparity in their games. As point guard of her 3rd Grade team, Sarah is a fierce competitor, looking up as she pushes the ball downcourt, switching hands on the dribble, and slashing past defenders. Gracie is just learning the game – dribbling with both hands and occasionally losing control of the ball, and barely reaching the hoop when she shots. It is great fun watching and photographing these two young cagers, although I have to admit Gracie’s games are much more humorous because all her other teammates play in the same awkward manner. No points are tallied on the scoreboard, which only shows the time remaining in the game, and all the family spectators cheer when either team manages to score. What these girls do best is run up and downcourt, and eagerly look forward to being substituted out so they can sit in the bleachers and rest with their parents. We can always tell when Gracie’s interest in the game begins waning because, when she doesn’t have the ball, she begins skipping downcourt instead of running, and starts doing cartwheels on the court whenever there is a pause in the action. Sarah, on the other hand, is a consistent study of intensity on defense and offense.
There is a truism in sibling relationships that younger siblings always desire to imitate the actions and sporting activities of their older brothers or sisters. That was certainly the case with my own brother, Arturo, who was one year younger than I. Art always wanted to play the games and sports I played, and to tag along with me and my friends. I witnessed it again while watching my own children grow up. My son Toñito was two years older than Prisa, so I had him learning to play soccer, baseball, and basketball first – put Prisa was always in the background watching and wanting to play as well. She very quickly joined in, shagging balls that Toñito hit, playing catch with us, kicking soccer balls, and rebounding and shooting baskets. Eventually Prisa sustained her love of organized sports through high school and college, while Toñito’s sporting interest waned, choosing to emphasize theater instead. As I watched my granddaughters grow up, I suspected at first that Gracie would deviate from this sibling tendency, because she showed such different developmental patterns than her older sister, with very disparate likes and dislikes. As an infant, Gracie preferred riding over walking, solitary play over interactive ones, and rarely agreeing with my suggestions for lunch meals, outings, and outdoor activities – as her sister had. However, since attending the same school as Sarah over the last two years and watching how she wants to imitate and compete in all of Sarah’s sporting and extracurricular activities, I’m not so sure anymore.
Gracie’s games continue to be more entertaining because of the limited skills of all the novice players, but their improvements have been huge. Since watching her play a month ago, Gracie has scored baskets and was now playing and dribbling with more confidence and always looking to shoot. One sequence I caught on camera was very similar to the one I described above of Sarah. Gracie was dribbling the ball up-court (with one or two hands), and when halted by a defender she stopped, then pushed past her (holding the ball), until she positioned herself on the left side of the basket and heaved up a shot that ALMOST went in. Scoring baskets is always nice, but the joy and buoyancy these 5-year-old girls exhibit in running, guarding, and trying to dribble and shoot make the games delightful to watch. Sarah still shows some of this child-like exuberance when she plays (and especially when the games are over), and I hope both girls continue feeling it as they get older and more skillful. However, there is another aspect of sibling relationships that I have noticed more and more, and it may have something to do with Gracie’s desire to imitate Sarah’s sporting interests – sibling rivalry.
Being 3 years older than Gracie, Sarah was always very solicitous and caring of her sister as an infant baby, and little girl, but by the time Gracie was walking, talking, and expressing her desires at two years old, their interactions began to exhibit some levels of conflict. Gracie started calling Sarah “bossy” and “selfish” and wanted to be treated in the same manner as her older sister or given the same gifts and benefits offered to an older child. As I watched them during our recent sleepover, these interactions can become very acrimonious at times, and Kathy and I are challenged to referee and resolve them peacefully. These sibling “fights” reminded me of the ones I had with my own brother Arthur, who was only 1 year younger. As the older brother I always felt put upon and victimized because it seemed to me that I always had to be the understanding one and back off or give in to Arthur’s complaints about me. I had to take him along when my friends and I went to the playground or park to play sports and had to include him in our games. Thankfully our conflicts decreased as we got older. Strangely I never noticed my sisters having these manifestations of sibling rivalry, nor my two younger brothers, although I think they are a normal product of sibling development. At least I hope so, because over the years I’ve observed that there seems to exist a special “sisterhood” of sorts among girls and women, especially between sisters and cousins. Girls and women seem to interact and form a unique bond of friendship, love, and unity, that provides an endless source of solace and support in times of trial and difficulty. I’ve been fortunate to see this bonding modeled by Kathy and her sisters, and by Prisa and her cousins. This is the bond I hope to see grow and develop in Sarah and Grace as they minimize their arguments, mature as siblings, and are taught to sing the Irving Berlin song Sisters, by their grandmother, great-aunts, and female cousins.
There were never such devoted sisters.
Never had to have a chaperone, no sir.
I’m here to keep my eye on her.
Caring, sharing
Every little thing that we are wearing…
All kinds of weather, we stick together,
The same in the rain and sun.
Two different faces, but in tight places
We think and act as one.
Those who’ve seen us
Know that not a thing can come between us.
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can.
Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister.
(Sisters: Irving Berlin – 1954)
Recently Kathy and I hosted our two granddaughters, Sarah and Gracie, for an overnight sleepover – giving their parents, Prisa and Joe, some quality private time and a sleep-in morning. These sleepovers are always interesting for us because they give us the opportunity to observe these two youngsters at their current levels of maturity. They also give us the chance to interact with them: learning and playing their new board games, listening to their stories of school, and taking long walks with them to the neighborhood 7-11 Store for slurpees. What especially delights me is watching their joyful interactions and realizing that they are sisters – the most intimate of companions for years to come until they are bonded in a lifelong union of love and common history. And yet they remain very distinct girls, at very different levels of physical development and emotional maturity. This fact was clearly demonstrated when we saw them playing basketball in February and March…
I had just re-situated myself into a new seat along the sideline of the basketball court when I noticed that Sarah, the tall, blonde-haired point guard of her third-grade team was slowly and casually dribbling the ball up-court with her left hand. As an opposing defender approached her from that side, she quickly shifted the ball to the other hand and began driving to the right corner. I barely had time to react and position my camera to shoot as she sped along my side of the court. “Click-click-click-click” went the shutter as she blurred past me, putting out her left arm to fend off the opposing player. She reached the corner of the court and head-faked a halt to freeze the defender before suddenly stopping and hefting a shot at the basket. It struck the opposite side of the hoop and the slowly rimmed out. More than feeling the disappointment of her miss, I prayed that I had managed to capture her impressive drive and shot on camera. I couldn’t stop feeling amazed at the progress of her basketball skills since the last time we’d seen her play.
Sarah’s game was the second in a double-header we watched that weekend. Kathy and I had seen her 5-year old sister, Gracie, play in her Torrance playground league the day before. We did this over two months – each time spending the night between games at a nearby hotel to avoid the long car rides back and forth from the west San Fernando Valley to catch two games on consecutive mornings. This last double-header was in February, so a month had passed since we’d seen the girls play – and their progress was stunning.
Sarah is 9-years old and Gracie is 5, and they play the game at very differing levels of ability. Sarah has played organized basketball for three years now and Gracie is just beginning, so there is a wide disparity in their games. As point guard of her 3rd Grade team, Sarah is a fierce competitor, looking up as she pushes the ball downcourt, switching hands on the dribble, and slashing past defenders. Gracie is just learning the game – dribbling with both hands and occasionally losing control of the ball, and barely reaching the hoop when she shots. It is great fun watching and photographing these two young cagers, although I have to admit Gracie’s games are much more humorous because all her other teammates play in the same awkward manner. No points are tallied on the scoreboard, which only shows the time remaining in the game, and all the family spectators cheer when either team manages to score. What these girls do best is run up and downcourt, and eagerly look forward to being substituted out so they can sit in the bleachers and rest with their parents. We can always tell when Gracie’s interest in the game begins waning because, when she doesn’t have the ball, she begins skipping downcourt instead of running, and starts doing cartwheels on the court whenever there is a pause in the action. Sarah, on the other hand, is a consistent study of intensity on defense and offense.
There is a truism in sibling relationships that younger siblings always desire to imitate the actions and sporting activities of their older brothers or sisters. That was certainly the case with my own brother, Arturo, who was one year younger than I. Art always wanted to play the games and sports I played, and to tag along with me and my friends. I witnessed it again while watching my own children grow up. My son Toñito was two years older than Prisa, so I had him learning to play soccer, baseball, and basketball first – put Prisa was always in the background watching and wanting to play as well. She very quickly joined in, shagging balls that Toñito hit, playing catch with us, kicking soccer balls, and rebounding and shooting baskets. Eventually Prisa sustained her love of organized sports through high school and college, while Toñito’s sporting interest waned, choosing to emphasize theater instead. As I watched my granddaughters grow up, I suspected at first that Gracie would deviate from this sibling tendency, because she showed such different developmental patterns than her older sister, with very disparate likes and dislikes. As an infant, Gracie preferred riding over walking, solitary play over interactive ones, and rarely agreeing with my suggestions for lunch meals, outings, and outdoor activities – as her sister had. However, since attending the same school as Sarah over the last two years and watching how she wants to imitate and compete in all of Sarah’s sporting and extracurricular activities, I’m not so sure anymore.
Gracie’s games continue to be more entertaining because of the limited skills of all the novice players, but their improvements have been huge. Since watching her play a month ago, Gracie has scored baskets and was now playing and dribbling with more confidence and always looking to shoot. One sequence I caught on camera was very similar to the one I described above of Sarah. Gracie was dribbling the ball up-court (with one or two hands), and when halted by a defender she stopped, then pushed past her (holding the ball), until she positioned herself on the left side of the basket and heaved up a shot that ALMOST went in. Scoring baskets is always nice, but the joy and buoyancy these 5-year-old girls exhibit in running, guarding, and trying to dribble and shoot make the games delightful to watch. Sarah still shows some of this child-like exuberance when she plays (and especially when the games are over), and I hope both girls continue feeling it as they get older and more skillful. However, there is another aspect of sibling relationships that I have noticed more and more, and it may have something to do with Gracie’s desire to imitate Sarah’s sporting interests – sibling rivalry.
Being 3 years older than Gracie, Sarah was always very solicitous and caring of her sister as an infant baby, and little girl, but by the time Gracie was walking, talking, and expressing her desires at two years old, their interactions began to exhibit some levels of conflict. Gracie started calling Sarah “bossy” and “selfish” and wanted to be treated in the same manner as her older sister or given the same gifts and benefits offered to an older child. As I watched them during our recent sleepover, these interactions can become very acrimonious at times, and Kathy and I are challenged to referee and resolve them peacefully. These sibling “fights” reminded me of the ones I had with my own brother Arthur, who was only 1 year younger. As the older brother I always felt put upon and victimized because it seemed to me that I always had to be the understanding one and back off or give in to Arthur’s complaints about me. I had to take him along when my friends and I went to the playground or park to play sports and had to include him in our games. Thankfully our conflicts decreased as we got older. Strangely I never noticed my sisters having these manifestations of sibling rivalry, nor my two younger brothers, although I think they are a normal product of sibling development. At least I hope so, because over the years I’ve observed that there seems to exist a special “sisterhood” of sorts among girls and women, especially between sisters and cousins. Girls and women seem to interact and form a unique bond of friendship, love, and unity, that provides an endless source of solace and support in times of trial and difficulty. I’ve been fortunate to see this bonding modeled by Kathy and her sisters, and by Prisa and her cousins. This is the bond I hope to see grow and develop in Sarah and Grace as they minimize their arguments, mature as siblings, and are taught to sing the Irving Berlin song Sisters, by their grandmother, great-aunts, and female cousins.
